Parents override a child's right to be consulted on decisions that directly affect their life
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The Situation
What They Said
“We do not need to ask the child — we are the parents and we decide what is best.”
This phrase is used when parents or guardians are making a significant decision affecting a child — such as school transfer, living arrangements, or medical treatment — and dismiss any suggestion that the child should be consulted.
The Fallacy
Appeal to Authority / Non Sequitur
This argument is a non sequitur: the fact that parents have authority over a child does not logically follow that the child has no right to be consulted. Authority and consultation are not mutually exclusive. Parents can retain full decision-making power while still being legally required to hear the child's views. The argument also treats parental authority as absolute, which is specifically rejected by South African children's rights law.
What the Law Says
Your Legal Foundation
Children's Act 38 of 2005
Section 10 — Child's Right to Participate
“Every child that is of sufficient maturity to participate in any matter concerning that child has the right to participate in an appropriate way and views expressed by the child must be given due consideration.”
The legal obligation to consult and consider a child's views applies regardless of whether parents believe it is necessary — it is a right belonging to the child, not a discretionary parenting style.
Children's Act 38 of 2005
Section 9 — Best Interests of Child Paramount
“In all matters concerning the care, protection and well-being of a child the standard that the child's best interest is of paramount importance, must be applied.”
A decision made without understanding a child's own perspective may not accurately reflect the child's best interests — the best interests standard requires informed decision-making that includes the child's voice.
What Scripture Says
God's Word on This
Colossians 3:21 (NET)
“Fathers, do not provoke your children, so they will not become discouraged.”
Scripture warns parents against actions that discourage or frustrate children — consistently excluding children from decisions that affect their lives risks exactly this harm.
Proverbs 15:22 (NET)
“Plans fail when there is no counsel, but with abundant advisers they are established.”
Seeking counsel — including from those most directly affected — leads to wiser decisions; dismissing the child's perspective deprives decision-making of a crucial source of insight.
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What They'll Say Next
Common Counter-Arguments
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They might say: “We know what is best for our child — she always gets what she needs.”
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They might say: “The child will just say what she wants, not what is good for her.”
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